By Sue Washburn

Welcome to the high-speed, drive-thru, go-go world of today’s modern family. If you’re not connected, you’re not counted. If you’re not busy, you’re not respected. If you aren’t exhausted, then you must be slacking.  In order to keep up, we’ve mastered the art of multitasking. We can attend a conference call, cook dinner and help with homework all at the same time. Our mantra is go, do and achieve. 

All the while, we ignore the inner voice that tells us to stop, rest and simply just be. The voice whispers to us about the cost of our lifestyle to our health, happiness and wholeness. It tells us we’re pushing ourselves and our kids too hard. That voice is articulating a need that is as old as human kind—telling us of the importance of rest and reflection. We need to find a way to reclaim some time for ourselves and balance our lives. The practice of Sabbath keeping may be just what we need to counter our hectic days. 

Sabbath keeping isn’t a 5-step program for inner peace or a $80 an hour spa service. It’s a time of rest and reflection woven into the rhythms of our lives—a time to focus on our self, our families and our faith. Sabbath traditions vary among religions and families, but the basic principle remains constant. It’s a way of sanctifying time and focusing our inner life.

When we keep Sabbath, we tune out the demands of the outside world and turn in to ourselves. It’s a time to say no to our daily pressures of work and world and yes to the parts of our lives that need to be nurtured.  It’s a time for worship, rest, reflection and rejuvenation-- a time to find joy and delight in the quieter parts of our lives. It’s a way of slowing down our high-speed lives, if only for a few hours.

Just where, though, can we find this precious Sabbath time? An extra day or hour won’t magically show up on our calendars just because we think Sabbath keeping is a good idea. We have to take a permanent maker and mark Sabbath on our calendars, giving up a block of time to engage in a counter cultural practice that involves doing nothing and accomplishing something intangible. Is it really worth it? Most Sabbath keepers would answer with a resounding YES!

Why bother with Sabbath?

“Six days a week we wrestle with the world, wringing profit from the earth,” writes Abraham Joshua Heschel in his classic text titled The Sabbath. “On the Sabbath we especially care for the seed of eternity planted in the soul.”

While Sabbath keeping itself is a Judeo-Christian practice with its roots in the creation story and the Ten Commandments, different traditions have different ways of sanctifying time and making it holy. Whether it’s a mindful breath, a series of daily prayers or a full day set aside for rest, most religions (and even those people without religion) recognize the need for pause—the need to take time out and re-center their priorities in a busy and demanding world.

“We live these incredibly unbalanced lives where we are constantly active in our work and home lives,” says Reverend Graham Standish of Calvin Presbyterian Church in Zelienople. “Sabbaths counter balance life. They are a time that is not active and they allow people to reflect on their life.”

“We fill our lives with a lot of noise that drowns out the inner quiet that we naturally seek,” agrees Frida Crane co-author of Ayat Jamilah: Beautiful Signs. “We need to take time out to focus on what is important. If we don’t think about the larger picture of our life, we lose our foundation.”

“We think about holding things precious,” adds Rabbi Sandy Sasso author of God’s Paintbrush. “We don’t think of our time as precious. In fact, the only time we think about time is when it becomes too limited.”

Honoring the Sabbath looks different for every tradition and every family. Some people turn off cell phones and computers for a day. Others take an hour to go for a walk. For some families, Sabbath keeping involves a radical change from their daily life.

The Friedman’s of Point Breeze are typical of our culture. Two working parents and three kids add up to one hectic week. But, as a conservative Jewish family, they slow their pace to a near halt each Friday night for their Sabbath. They don’t use cars, phones or electrical appliances on the Sabbath. But, instead of feeling restrictive, Sabbath time for Jodi Friedman is a blessing.

“During the week our house is crazy,” Friedman admits. “We’re both working and the amount I have to actually play with my children feels so miniscule. Saturday afternoon, I push away all of the obligations and focus on my family. I don’t worry about the laundry or the shopping because I can’t do it.”

For Friedman, keeping the Sabbath frees her from the guilt so many of us feel to always be productive. It’s a way of living that Rev. Kristine Haig of the Presbyterian Church USA says has turned us into human DOings instead of human BEings. According to Rev. Haig, part of Sabbath keeping is learning to find contentment simply in our existence.

“The big lesson Sabbath keeping can teach children is that just to be is a blessing. To live is holy,” Rev. Haig explains.  “We need to tell our kids and ourselves that we are more than our achievements and accomplishments. We are precious by virtue of our being, independent of what we do.”

Both Friedman and Rev. Haig agree that even though it may seem hard to give up some of our daily activities to focus inward, doing so can create opportunities we may not expect. They find that in their Sabbath keeping practices, they’re actually getting more from less.

“It sounds really restrictive,” explains Friedman. “But once you get the mind set of Sabbath keeping it opens up more possibilities when it comes to spending time together as a family.” She loves the Friday night dinners and walks to the synagogue that are part of her tradition.

“Our relationships grow in time,” agrees Rev. Haig. “By saying no to some things, you allow other things to happen. The restrictions can actually be liberating.”

Does Sunday = Sabbath?

Today, the traditional day of the Christian Sabbath (Sunday) looks a lot like the traditional Jewish Sabbath (Saturday) to our culture—it’s just another day to shop, do laundry and shuttle kids. However, the secret to Sabbath keeping is realizing that the power to transform regular time into sacred time lies within the decisions we make, not the decisions the culture makes for us.

“In the past, the culture really determined when the Christian Sabbath occurred,” says Rev. Standish. “It no longer does that. Sabbath keeping has become the responsibility of individuals now. It requires a tremendous amount of discipline and that can make it challenging for some people.”

To practice Sabbath keeping we must take control of our time instead of letting time control us. Sabbath keeping requires the inner strength to guard Sabbath time zealously. You simply have to say no to requests and demands that conflict with your Sabbath, whether it’s all day Saturday, Sunday morning or a few hours on Wednesday afternoon.

“You need to be intentional about taking time for rest and reflection,” says Rev. Standish. “Sabbath is self-limiting. You just have to make the decision that you are not going to do everything.”

Friedman and others who have been practicing Sabbath on Saturday have never had the luxury of a cultural mandate for their tradition. As a result, they have learned the power of the word “no” when it comes to protecting Sabbath time. But, she admits, it’s not always easy when the rest of the world is continuing normally.

“The hardest part is dealing with the outside world,” she says. “The endless birthday invitations for Saturday are a challenge.” But because her children are all under the age of 7, it’s still relatively easy for her to set the agenda for the entire family.

Dr. Kevin Leman, father of five and author of Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours says that when it comes to Sabbath keeping, parents need to set the ground rules.

“A lot of what many of us have grown up with as sacred has been thrown out the window in our hurried world,” says Dr. Leman. “It’s a great thing to teach kids the importance of the Sabbath.” But he cautions parents to prepared to practice what they preach.

“Kids know that your real faith is the faith that you live, not necessarily the faith you proclaim,” he explains. “I’ve been speaking in churches where people are looking at their watches worrying about whether they’ll make it back in time for the football game. They are showing kids that other things are more important than worship and Sabbath.”

Sylvia Babb of Plum has used Sunday as a day for worshipping and connecting with family. She refuses to work or shop as a way of keeping Sabbath—a tradition that her boys have adopted as they’ve grown.

“You have to be realistic about how you go about it, though. You don’t want time at home with family to be seen as punishment for your children,” cautions Rabbi Sasso, a leader in the reformed Jewish tradition which has less stringent Sabbath expectations than Friedman’s conservative movement. “Sabbath is about setting aside sacred moments, coming together as a family.”

Finding the sacred time

Choosing to keep Sabbath means you may have prioritize or even eliminate some the activities your family participates in. Rev. Standish suggests that you sit down with paper and pencil and prayerfully consider how you can fit Sabbath time into your life. Rev. Standish says it doesn’t have to be all day Saturday or Sunday. It may be an hour here or there. The key is finding the balance that works best for you and your family.

“You don’t want to enslave yourself to Sabbath keeping so much that it puts you out of balance,” he says. “Don’t make the rules so rigid that you can’t use the time to heal.”

Father James Wehner, Rector of Saint Paul Seminary, says integrating Sabbath keeping into your life requires that you take a good look at yourself and your habits.

Rev. Haig suggests that you start small and build a Sabbath practice one step at a time. The key to being successful is not to focus on what you’re losing but what you’re gaining.

“It’s a paradox, laying on this discipline for the sake of freedom,” she explains “Sabbath keeping is one of the most profoundly counter cultural things that we can do. The media constantly tells us we’re not rich enough, beautiful enough, thin enough and that we need to DO something about it. Going against that can be challenging.”

As a Muslim, Dalia Mogahed doesn’t practice Sabbath like Jews and Christians. Instead she creates sacred time throughout each day to re-center. She prays the Salat five times a day and has to set her schedule around her prayer times, a seemingly impossible task. She remembers a colleague asking how she could find time to pray five times a day with her hectic calendar. But, she says, the pause for prayer doesn’t make her life feel busier, just better.

“It’s the same discipline that you need to exercise or eat nutritious food,” she explains. “The kind that nourishes you instead of depriving you. It’s a discipline that allows you to gain something positive. I really see rest, rejuvenation and taking time as a way of fueling the spiritual self.”

If you’d like to start practicing Sabbath keeping, Rev. Haig suggests that you find or create a small community to try it with you so that you can support each other in your endeavor.

Father Roger Statnick, Vicar General of the Greensburg Diocese, agrees. He says that going it alone might make you feel lazy or like a slacker. But, he says, when it’s done in community Sabbath can be powerful event.

“I remember being in Jerusalem on Saturday and whole city would shut down. There is a power there when the streets go empty—something that is shared and rejuvenating for everyone.”

Father Statnick also says that Sabbath keeping in the American cities probably won’t look or feel like Sabbath keeping in Jerusalem. For that matter, it probably can’t even be like the Sabbath practices of 30 years ago.

“As churches we need to find a way to encourage people to engage in Sabbath keeping,” he explains. “But, we won’t do this by trying to call people back to a different era and do it that way. We have to look at our lives today and figure out how we can do it in these circumstances.”

We need to re-create Sabbath keeping in ways that allow everyone to experience its benefits.  We need to realize that in our busy lives, we must cherish our time and commit to holding at least some of it sacred.

“Labor is a craft, but perfect rest is an art,” writes Heschel. “It is the result of an accord of body, mind and imagination.” Like all art, Sabbath keeping requires our time, discipline and patience. It allows us to see our lives like artists. We change the angle through which we view ourselves and reflect on what we see. Sabbath keeping offers us a brief respite in which we can appreciate the beauty and blessing, not of our doing, but simply our being.